IMAGES OF SCOTLAND
This month we feature street art. This fine example was in
Berkeley Street in Glasgow, but it has now been painted over. There are some superb artists out there
whose work finds its way onto the streets to brighten our lives. More
power to their can.
TRUMP HAS EYES ON EDINBURGH CASTLE
Donald Trump is a very rich man. I do not know him. It is way too
easy to form opinions about folk from what you read in the Press and,
as we all know, the Press is not always as accurate as it could be.
Politicians, I believe, are also not always as accurate as they
could be. I believe that Donald Trump is more than likely telling it
as it actually is when he says he was somehow 'lured' into building
a £1bn golf resort on the north-east coast of Aberdeenshire. I'm
sure any politician with whom he had dealings would not have said
outright that no wind-farm would be built anywhere near the proposed
golf resort. They would have tackled such a question in the way that
politicians do, by avoiding it, skirting the issue, and
somehow giving the impression that no such thing would happen.
Politicians more than likely told Donald Trump white lies to somehow
improve the economy in a small part of Scotland. In short, I
instinctively believe that Donald Trump has indeed been wronged.
His golf resort website shows wonderful pictures of a stunningly
beautiful coastal part of Scotland. On the horizon there is no
So, where do we go from here? Donald Trump did not get this far in
life through being daft. He must be a sensible man. If he believes
as strongly, as he clearly does, in his golf resort dream, then I
reckon he will eventually come to the conclusion that the proposed
wind-farm is indeed quite far offshore, and will really have a
negligible visual impact on his own golf development. The
alternative might be to buy Edinburgh Castle and Princes Street
Gardens and thumb a nose at the Scottish Government by building a
golf course with an
eighteenth hole slap bang in the middle of the castle esplanade.
Scotland's Online Tourist Guide
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PRESS THE BUTTON
I was walking through the park the other day, Kelvingrove Park
in Glasgow's West End. Amongst all the trees and flowers and grass I
noticed a button. It was a button on a pole, some sort of electronic
button that you might push for either information or if some emergency
presented itself. Whatever happened, I wondered, to parkies, or park
attendants who patrolled and stopped unruly children from walking on
grass? They now patrol the parks in vans. All the parks. It's probably
one parkie in a van for all the parks in Scotland.
At unmanned railway stations there are also buttons. Sometimes there is
no monitor to visually tell you what trains are on time or running late.
But you can press the button to find out or if you are being attacked.
Whatever happened to railway station staff? Whatever happened to railway
In Sauchiehall Street and in Argyle Street in Glasgow there are buttons
in the street. If you find yourself in a situation in which assistance
is required, this time from the stout arm of the law, you press the
button. Whatever happened to police officers, I wonder? Like parkies,
they now patrol the streets in vans.
Forgive my paranoia, but I feel The Buttons may be taking over.
SECURITY IN LONDON during the Olympic Games is to include
surface-to-air missile batteries on the roofs of houses. In Glasgow,
during the Commonwealth Games in 2014, security is expected to
be a bit more laid back. Basically, it will involve men on roofs
with pies. They will hurl the pies at any suspicious aircraft that
get too close. They will also be armed with Irn Bru, and the
caffeine in the Irn Bru will allow the men to throw the pies much
further than normal. Don't say we're not organised in Glasgow.
SUPERMARKET SHOPPING ALLOWS us to buy meat that does not move. The
chicken does not squawk, the beef does not moo, and the fish does
not look up at us with big pleading eyes. It is all dead, and very
much far removed from the live beast it once was. A German farmer is
trying to redress that by placing pictures of his pigs on a website.
Customers can follow the lives of his pigs, then select one to be
turned into sausages. What a great idea. Although I think it could be
improved if the pigs sang songs.
MORRISON'S SUPERMARKET IN Glasgow's Anniesland area has
introduced some special effects to the vegetable aisles. There is
that flows from pipes and covers the green stuff in a cool layer of
mist. I imagine its effect on the vegetables will probably be
negligible, and that this is nothing but theatrics. It's probably
only a matter of time before all supermarkets look suitably
swamp-like, with the sound of birds and critters and insects, and
every customer is handed a spear on arrival.
The Library of Innerpeffray
The noises of the people
In the flats that surround mine
Are noises I can do without
We're prisoners doing time
I hear their toilets flushing
And their bodies living life
And every time I fart in bed
It causes me some strife
I wish to burp
And blow my nose
Without an attentive crowd
So I'm going to move to a cottage
Where my body can be loud.
for a monthly equivalent
of around £6.
* Approximate online visits
during the month of March 2012
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THE LITTER PROBLEM - AGAIN
This is a picture of an overflowing litter bin outside Glasgow's
Mitchell Library. Interesting huh? Unfortunately, this is an all too
common sight. We hear so much about irresponsible litter louts, and
very little about councils that haven't grasped the concept of bin
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