There's a funny smell in Kirkcaldy. It has nothing to do with the lentil
soup I slurped when there, a soup that had me happily cavorting through the
town unleashing awesome foghorn-like farts that caused seagulls to
scatter with fright. But it is, nonetheless, a funny smell.
Kirkcaldy is known as the 'Lang Toun', such is the length of its High
Street, some four miles stretching all the way from Linktown through
Pathead and Sinclairtown to Gallowtown. Personally, I think some council
high heid yin in the past joined all these wee towns together so as to
give a memorable big long street that would take folks minds off the
'What's that smell?'
'Oh, it's nothing really, but hey... would you look at our nice long street.'
The smell in Kirkcaldy is a good sign. It means that there is still some
industry in the town, and the very industry for which the town was once
famous the world over, namely: linoleum. Seemingly, at one point most of
the linoleum used in the whole world came from Nairn's Factory. Linseed
oil used in the manufacturing process is what causes the smell. It is
not a bad smell, merely unfamiliar, and actually fairly pleasant. And
nice thing is that
the name Nairn lives on in the world of floor
So the next time anyone asks you what the smell is, don't
say, 'Have you
seen our big long street?', say, 'It's linseed oil from
Factory, for here in Kirkcaldy we make linoleum.'
And be very proud of that fact.