Helensburgh, one might presume, was once a burgh presided over and owned
by someone called Helen. Which isn't a great name if you have the
wherewithal to hold so much responsibility or land. It somehow conjures
up images of a wee woman in pink fluffy slippers and a dressing gown in
much the same way that Senga's Toon or Jessieburgh might, both being
towns that do not, as far as I am aware, exist. So, if our assumption is
correct, just who the heck was Helen?
Well, far be it for me to bore you with facts, but let's just say her
name was Helen Sutherland, presumed mother of the twenty-fifth laird of
Colquhoun who, in 1802, seems to have owned all of the town. So there.
But let us not dwell on this for too long because, to be perfectly frank
with you, it bores the pants off me, and when your pants are bored
there's not a lot you can do. (Does anyone know how to cheer up bored
pants? Maybe a joke or something?)
Anyway, pants aside, what makes the laird's toon worth
a visit? Well, there's a house that sits on a hill,
affectionately known as Chuck may
have had a hand
in its construction.
Please form an orderly queue.